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Sunday, 5 September 2010
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT.......



APPARENTLY??

Two columns in one week, this is apparently a new record for me. Firstly I’d like to thank all the people who messaged me and told me it was nice to see me back after my break from sl. Secondly, thanks to all those who hate us that carry on reading. To us this means A) you are ridiculous and B) you are an asshole, but thanks anyway.

For all those who missed the last column or are new readers, I am just back from an almost 4 month break from Second Life. In my last column I wrote about my shock and awe at how much men had changed since when I began my sl 4 years ago. I have been approached in world by several men who would like me to say that not all men are obsessed by getting women on webcams and they have swung it around and blamed the sl women. They tell me that in certain circles and when men are talking about women (and they do believe me) that webcamming is seen as an act of desperation in order to keep a man interested. The thing that shocked the men and me was that some of these girls don’t require the man to perform on webcam. They are happy to let him watch. I have one word-SERIOUSLY?

If it’s not bad enough that Sl has been flooded with a new generation of eager young men and women, for whom Santa Claus brought a new laptop fitted with built in webcam, we can now look forward to another type of generation. Just this week I heard the shocking news that apparently Second Lifes Teen Grid was to close. I don’t know why I just said “apparently” because it’s all over the net. Since it’s still not on the Second Life website, ill say “apparently”.
 Not only is it closing but Linden Lab is apparently going to allow kids aged 16+ onto the main grid. Wait, stop the press a sec, but didn’t we predict this well over a year ago when they started splitting up the grid to adult, mature and the other one that serves no purpose? I mean, as I said at the time, why bother with all the hassle when we were all over 18? Well now you know! So ladies when you’re getting your party out on a webcam for the guys you can’t see, just think of some 16 year old in his bedroom having all the free porn he can get.

On a completely different note, I would like to talk about how new people word statements on their profiles. I have been notified of a rise in new people writing warnings on their profiles. This warning states that they can share conversations with other people purely because its stated it in their profile. Oh you think? Really, well I am living breathing proof that you can’t. Unless ofcourse this is a new thing that has recently came out, but I didnt see it on the Community Standards page.

The other thing is writing stupid shit like “Stay out of my profile” or “Quit stalking my profile”. Question for assholes? Does this really piss you off when people read your profile? Well here is a bit of advice from me, a profile stalker. Just leave it blank. No wait, no one cares. Just log off sl, cancel your no payment account and fuck off!

I want to end on a lighter note. This week I have been building bridges and made my peace with some people. Everyone accepted, all but one and it left me feeling somewhat disheartened but everyone makes their own decisions. If I didn’t IM you then I still hate your face.

Lots of Love

Natalie xx

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Tuesday, 31 August 2010
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT.....


SL EVOLUTION
Ok, I am back,Again. As I type those words I am even rolling my eyes at myself because since late last year I have more comebacks than Status Quo. Anyway, I was having some time out from sl for personal reasons but when I saw that people were still reading, I thought id pop back and say hello.
Back in June I faced a very tough dilemma that involved this site. The domain name had to be renewed and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should keep it or just let it all disappear into SL history. I looked at the Stat Counter I have on the site and saw that people were still reading what Rawly and I had written over the years and realised that maybe Slinworldtoday.com was kinda like a history book on Second Life. Sl is so different now to how it used to be, so I decided to keep it all going so that new people to Second Life could maybe one day stumble across something funny we had penned and smile at how our Second Lives used to be.

For now at least I am back. I can’t promise that this site will turn into anything riveting, be filled with gossip or comedy overnight either. Rawly and myself are extremely busy with Real Life commitments but we have been staying in touch and have talked about writing more when we aren’t so busy.
It’s not so much finding the time to write, its finding the time to play on sl long enough to have something to write about. Although we do have a few fun things in the pipeline, they will be fun for us and probably not that fun for others. When we do have more time we have made a pact that it will be shock and awe and there will be no holding back with the dirt this time.

Ok so, I decided to log in and wander around sl to see what has changed. The surroundings don’t seem to change but the people have definitely changed. The first thing I noticed was the amount of avatars who looked the same-male and female. I decided to swing past Element 7 (or 8 I think) and do a bit of profile surfing, just to see how people have changed. The lag wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, so I clicked and discarded my five millionth Element code of conduct note card and entered the building .I noticed that women now outnumbered the men and then I noticed that some of the men had hearts, swirl’s and other random shit on their profiles, which usually means they don’t have a dick in rl. Then it hit me. I got an IM from someone who perhaps thought because I wasn’t dressed to kill and had chosen to wear jeans and a boring jacket that maybe I was interesting.

I was wrong. He said Hi. I said Hi back. He asked how I was, and I said I was brill. He asked if I had a real life picture he could have, I said no. He asked me if I had a webcam, I said WTF? He then realised I have had in sl since 2006 and decided to tell me how old I was and then presumed I would have lots of dirty sordid stories to tell him. I presumed he had already got a hard on and was playing with himself as I typed my second WTF? I read back on the convo I just had with him and wondered how he could be thinking I was even remotely interested in telling him any of my shit when in fact I had only typed. Hi. Im brill. No. WTF? And another WTF? Oh and maybe an LOL. Eventually because I wouldn’t reply he lost his temper and told me that “all girls” went on webcam and he didn’t see a problem with him asking. Seriously, is this what Second Life has evolved into? A dating /sexcam site for people who obviously can’t get laid in the real world? I couldn’t have said this, but I felt a bit sorry for him so I asked him for a picture of his dick, for a laugh and he gave me one. I promptly told him he had an ugly penis and to feck eff. Again he wasn’t happy.

I am a bit sad that Sl has turned out like this. It kind of limits my fun also cause I won’t be getting my party out for anyone on a webcam. Anyone who doesn’t like this, tough luck. I didn’t join E- Harmony I joined Second Life. This isn’t being said because I am a bore or that I don’t like what I got it’s because even though I play sl and I am a fun/bad girl I am someone’s mother in the real world.
Ok, hope you enjoyed reading and if anyone has anything they would like me to look into, explore or write about hit me up in world. I’ll be back with more soon.

Lots of Love
Natalie xx

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Sunday, 2 May 2010
OH HUNNIES, I'M HOME !





By public demand, actually all the late night IM wondering why I am so quiet and what I got banned for, even though I didn’t, I decided I’d take a deep breath, count to a billion (the time it would take me to tolerate some of the bullshit I have saw the last few months) and come back and at least try to be nice. That isn’t going to happen because, it’s pretty much been proved that is not how I roll, so I am not even going to try.
Where do I start? Well, Second Life isn’t really the same place it was, is it? Come on, I want you all to admit that the place has become flooded with a different breed of people. It seems I am not the only person that has encountered various types of individuals over the last 6 months or so. They are the ones that made me screw up my face, force a fake smile and walk away slowly saying, “Ok you have a nice SLife, on your own, far away from me.”

I know I am not the only person confused by the different behaviours of the new generation, because I have discussed this with a few older friends who are totally fed up with the amounts of bullshit they hear. It has left older residents of second life, like me, wondering if perhaps these new people think we are stupid and that we actually believe their needy shit.

Ok, listen up. Some people see SL as real life, some don’t. I don’t, so keep your opinions on it far away from my pixels and you won’t get mine. While some like to recite that played- to- death line about Sl not being a game, I have something to explain to you. The definitions of the word game in thesaurus are actually entertainment and amusement and SL is just this.

 You see this shows the different types of SL people and how they think. It seems to all stem back to how you perceive the word “game”. So, because it’s fun, entertaining and amusing is SL a game? I have thought long and hard about this as I have done about many SL quandaries and all I can say on the matter is that all games must have an outcome and an end.

 You probably are all wondering where that very deep psychological bullshit came from. Well, I’d like see less people talking about it because the ones who do seem to be the main “Game” players. It’s like the people who write on their profiles “Drama Free Zone.....blah blah.” We all know what that means don’t we?
Just because I have been quiet doesn’t mean I am out of the loop. I still hear all the drama and bullshit and it hasn’t surprised me that it’s coming from the same avatars that it came from in 2007, 2008 and 2009. It’s been great for a Second Life Journalist (/me even laughs when I type that) and an eye rolling, sarcastic, lover of all things hilarious like me. Just to sit and watch some of my favourite fuck ups, fuck up even more than they did back when we first crossed paths, has been such great fun. You know who you are, and I know what you have done. I’m just pleased that now so many more people hate you now for the things you are doing, without my help. Thank gawd because the burden of hating you on my own getting exhausting.
I could go on and on and on about various avatars who are still annoying the hell out of lots of us, but I won’t. I could name a list of names of people who need to log out and go breathe fresh air, but I won’t. The reason for this silence is because during my hiatus, I realised that these people were the reason I logged into SL. These people are the reason I laugh my head off and the reason this site was created. These people are the people who make me SL job as a “Journalist” and “Expert button pusher” so much easier. I am sure lots of the fans of this site will understand when I say that sometimes Rawly and I could go to bed, wake up and a really funny article about something someone had done had almost wrote itself.

So, I guess I’m back doing what I do best. For some that will mean I will be making them laugh at the office when they are supposed to working. For some it will be because they hate my face, but they just wanna see what I’m up to. Either way it’s kind of win- win for me because you’re still reading, you hate me more, so that makes me smile.

Some people are asking me about Rawly. Well he’s still very much alive. I heard he was lying on the beach, the rl one, but I am sure he will be back when it gets cold. For the time being you are all gonna be stuck with me.

 
Keep writing that random crap on your profiles, keep saying that stupid shit and keep pretending to be Playboy models. You are making my day so much more fun.

I’d like to give a wave to Jordyn Carnell. He left comments about there being no xxx material since 2008. I am very surprised that knowing me he had to ask why. I thought it would be very obvious i'd been escorted to the banline. For you Jordyn, I will see what I can do and see if the region bans have been cancelled and go see what I can find.

Lots of Love
 
Natalie xx

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Thursday, 21 January 2010
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT..............



A CURE FOR A SLINWORLDTODAY ADDICTION


We have decided that due to demand from our readers and friends that we would have to come back and stir things up a bit. Before I start I’d like to wish you all a happy new year and a belated happy Halloween cause I never did finish that, did I?



It has amazed us and made us laugh, the amount of people who claim to hate us with a passion, that have logged into to read this site every single day since we went on our break. They did this even though there wasn’t anything new here to read. We have decided to call it the SLIWT addiction. It’s not an addiction to everyone though, only to those who hate us and deny coming to it.

I’d like to clarify something that might be blowing a few peoples minds. If you have a friend who claims they can’t seem to read this web page and find they are being redirected to another destination on the internet, chances are I am responsible for it. I know all the cry-babies who read this site and I know all those who have addictions to it, so I decided to help a few of you out and just ban you from looking at it because you were getting on my nerves with your shit. They are the people who claim never to read what we write and yet can’t help logging in at least 3 times a day to see if we have wrote anything new. Some addicts have even done this during their sl nuptials!!! Imagine that, you would think they would have better things to be doing. Anyway, If you know of anyone who has been locked out and who doesn’t know why, there is a good chance it may be a mistake, because even someone perfect like me makes mistakes, although not often. It’s very simple, all they have to do is contact either Rawly or myself and we will unban you.



There are a few addicts I have allowed to continue reading this page, but not because I like the people but because I am just downright evil. If you happen to be one of those people who perhaps have an addiction to SLIWT or just enjoy hanging on our every word that’s brill, but don’t ever deny that you read this page in public, especially if you have recently done something to make me hate your guts.




Recently it has been brought to my attention that a certain someone, who to my knowledge is very, very addicted to reading SLIWT, has begun to strenuously deny reading. The person in question has always had trouble telling the truth and remembering stuff, so with hindsight of this, I took a screenshot in my stat counter of every single hit they ever made to this site. There is a folder on my desktop full of little pictures with dates, times and the length of your visit. There is quite a collection of them now and they will come in handy for Rawlys “Where are they now?” column he’s thinking of doing. There is nothing like a screenshot of the Stat counter to jog a memory of even the most forgetful avatar.
Ok, let me fill you all in on what it was like leading a quiet and calm Second Life. I went out and met lots of new friends, learned a few lessons taught by a very good teacher (you know who you are) learned a lot about who I was (again you know who you are). I went to lots of clubs( /me yawns), played loads of tricks on people who were using the stupid Emerald Hud thing that tells you people are looking at your profile (yeah that was me making up stuff for your screen) and so on and so forth. I spent time with my older close friends who seemed to be very worried about my quietness and now normal behaviour. One even cared about me so much and because he didn’t get my full attention he removed me from his friends list. He done a lot more than that, but it isn’t for the pages of this site and it was unforgivable.



I soon realised that I was living my second life the way people live in real life and I am not here to fill a gap or make up for anything I can’t be in my rl. Normality in pixels was boring and wasn’t for me, but at least I gave it a shot for a few months.
 I did meet a lot of fun people along my quiet normal adventure during these last few months. Most were new people on the first rush of SL addiction and to be around people experiencing that initial buzz we all remember so well was refreshing for one who’s second life has been anything but normal. I loved sitting listening to their stories of heartbreak, meeting their first sl love and of course to all the drama that seemed to hit everyone at some point. I gave advice to lots of them and showed them how to do new things. One thing I didn’t do was tell them that for the last 3 years of my sl I had put my second life into words for the amusement of others. I didn’t mention this site to them, but it wasn’t long until they mentioned it to me.



It’s hard to hide who you are when you have spent all your time being an open book. That is another thing I have saw happening and it bothered me. I have saw people give up things they really want and know they are destined to have because they can’t be honest with themselves. I have sat and watched people living sl like it was some kind of Life skill. I realised I am who I am, this is what I do here. Looking at my stat counter its obvious  that love me or hate me some of you can’t stay away from reading me. Oh and you, yes you, I probably have already got the screenshot of this hit aswell.



 I’ll be back real soon with a new column and I’ll get Rawly to get writing as well.



Lots of Love

Natalie xx



P.S Its nice to be back .........................



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Wednesday, 14 October 2009
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT......


THE ATTRACTION

I have found that some of us attract different types of people and attention. I once asked Rawly why I attracted some of the people who approached me and he told me quite seriously that he was sure he saw a big sign some place saying “If you’re a total dork, IM Natalie Niven”. I laughed, but I think he might be right, because I just seem to attract the crazies of the grid. Now that my SL is far more settled, I figured I couldn’t live without the mental people, so I went out to find some. Surely I can have the best of both worlds?

I was stopped while out shopping tonight by a few SLIWT readers and they commented on my new look. I have ditched my blonde locks, went to the other extreme and went jet black. A blonde having more fun is a bit overrated, believe me, I know this. People really do assume you are stupid, but that has never really bothered me.
 This year I feel I have been pre occupied with dealing with other bits of me and I forgot what I was all about. I forgot about my craziness and how I had this uncanny ability to embrace chaos. I have mentioned before that there is someone very special in my SL now and it was this that got me thinking about if it mattered that my avatar was beautiful. You see, when I first met him, we exchanged a few smart mouthed jokes and then never saw each other’s avatars for 6 months. I did my slife, he did his and yet we still spoke every day. I looked around me while out and about, at all the happy couples and I wondered if they are really in love with each other’s minds or is it just the beautiful pixels?



I decided to experiment on whether avatar appearance attracts different types of people. I know that the tag above your head does because I was in an alt account of mine a few weeks ago and a lady approached me. She was very well dressed and offered me the chance to have a “beautiful” avatar just like hers. She told me she was a famous avatar on her “other” account and that she liked to go into this one to “help” new SL residents become beautiful. All I had to do was deposit $200L  to her and I could have a skin like hers. I played with her for about 10mins and then I issued the “Surprise, Guess who my other account is?” She soon climbed down from her “I am famous” soapbox when I called her from Natalie’s account. In exchange for her anonymity she gave me the name of the man who supplies her with the skins. I was very shocked when I looked him up, because he wasn’t an alt and he had some well known models detailed in his picks as BFF. No doubt you will be reading all about it soon.



I thought I’d just change my hair colour to see if it made a difference before making any drastic changes. So off I went, with my new black tresses to see if this would make a difference in my SL.



I discovered that not all people read profiles. I was standing in a hair store last night when I received an IM. It was one of those very random IMs from a person who wanted to tell me I had nice legs. I cammed around to see the person who was that was saying this and couldn’t see anyone. Then I cammed down and sitting at my feet, was what I can only describe as a replica of the dog from The Perishers. I wondered if perhaps he had asked all the female legs in this store if he could lick them or if he had any luck with anyone else when asking if he could insert his muzzle up their skirt. I wondered if it was just me, so I asked him.

He said that for some reason he just thought that I looked like id be up for it and that I had the nicest most lickable legs. Ok now, is it just me, or do some people actually participate in sexual activity with cute SL dogs? He told me that he was doing a "survey" and that my help in this "survey" would help him understand "interspecies survival". He said all I had to do was get naked and let him, well ya know, do what animals do and that this would be part of the survey. I had to decline the chance to part take in such an experiment because we had a conflict of interest on ethics of it and I didn’t see how it was a survey. He saw it as anthropology and I saw it as a pervert looking to have a wank. Well I call it as I see it, there is no point in dressing up that word when the littlest hobo is at your feet telling you he has a big giant cock. There really is something about a cartoon dog, showing you his SL penis (that was a replica of a rl penis btw), in a busy hair shop. I mean I am all for the laughs and the theory that there is only one thing worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about, but being photographed beside a dog with a hard on, is a bit too much even for me.



Engaging in sexual activity with an animal, cartoon or otherwise is something I can’t get my head around and why someone would want to do it is just plain crazy. I did laugh at the thought of my new guy asking me what I had been up to while he has been away and me saying, “Well this Old English Sheep dog asked me for sex last night in a hair shop, but apart from that nothing much”. I mean how many men in SL get to come home to a woman like me. /me winks, I still got it, Alsatians the lot!



Sadly though, my own experiment didn’t go quite as I planned, as the colouring on my hair made no difference to a species that was eye level with my knees. I ditched my dark locks and went back to being blonde, although I will carry on with this fun experiment.



I looked down my friend list last night and I wondered what I gave to some of the people in the way of friendship and wondered how they perceived me. I picked out a few people who are as nutty as me and realised that certain types of people are just attracted to others who are like them. It’s not because of hair colour and I am convinced there must be something that matches avatars together because we will laugh and behave better if we meet.
I am going to give you all a look into the mind of a very well known avatar, that I love with all my heart. She and I have known each other for a very long time and both of us have a love for experimenting and researching people. We also have a hate for women who aren’t real and who can’t relax in this pixelated world we call our Second Home.
Ladies and gentlemen let me introduce Janey. She the sister of my very good friend and famous SL Photographer Connie Arida (Connie Sec on Flickr). Connie sent me the vid and I totally cracked up. This was a good insight into how lots of us live and spend our time. Thanks Hun.

For all the women who wonder what the other types of women do to pass their time in SL, since we aren’t walking the fashion runways, there ya have it. Thanks Connie and Janey, you summed us up beautifully, and that puts an end to them all saying we arent creative.

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Tuesday, 6 October 2009
The Scare-a-thon



THE 'HAUNTED' HOUSE OF GESTURES



My Favorite time of year is now here and the SLIWT Scare-a-thon has officially begun. I only thing is that my partner in crime, Rawly, will be absent for the tricking this year. I am sure he has great faith in me being able to trick(piss people off) all on my own. Rawly and I broke some sort of second life record in 2007 for being able to deform over 700 avatars in a two week period-fact. The funny thing was we got most of the avatars again, with the same tricks in 2008 (Gregster Kidd). I dunno what ill be able to pull of this year, but my overactive imagination will be hyperventilating at the thought of the fun stuff SL has to offer this year for Halloween.

This years Scare-a-thon started last Saturday night when my good friend Blazin Aubret called me up and asked me to come over to her place. She told me not to forget a bottle of wine and I knew then it was gonna be one of those nights.

For all of you who aren't familiar with Blazin, you might be more familiar with her work or the back of her hand slapping the side of your face. Blazin owns The House of Gestures and is responsible for most of the annoying gestures we hate, but play anyway because we love them.( That makes sense to me and its my article and I can write what I like dammit)


When I arrived, Blazin was so excited and couldnt wait to show me what she was doing at her Sim for Halloween. Blazin knows me well and knows I love to click stuff and knows I love Halloween and she really didn't disappoint me.

Blazin and her partner Tristan had turned the entire House of Gestures Sim into a scary Halloween playground. There is a Pumpkin Treasure Hunt set up and you have to find the pumpkins hidden in haunted houses to win scary prizes.

I don't think I stopped laughing the whole time I was there, because they really had worked hard and you have to go check this place out.


This was the first creature I met. I clicked and clicked hoping he was some sort of sex animated spider but he wasn't. I am sure someone somewhere would love to have sex on the back of a spider or worse, with it. You all laugh, but you really haven't visited some of the freaky places I have in my SL.


Yep, I have to admit. A new born screaming at 3 am is enough to scare the shit out of
me. Even a prim sl one that didn't do much except look awful.
We all know the rules about not looking into the 'light' but Maschil couldn't help it and got sucked in the tv.

Blazin is a bit insane and violent like myself, so she has shown this in her creativity. There appears to be balls in each room so you can either kill or be killed. So bring someone you loathe over and stick a knife in their face. Go on, let you hair down, its Halloween. Its Sl, so its not as if the cops are gonna slam you ass in jail. Just don't call the person your killing a 'fucker' while your sticking the knife in, because that would be a TOS breach and always remember to put a LOL in the sentence, that way you can pretend you were joking.

When you have finished killing your victim, Blazin has set up a evidence disposal unit in the form of a crematorium.Very cunning Blazin, pity it wasn't real babe because there is a few people id like to shove in.

I offered Blazin a few of my moving, very realistic, sl body bags because I haven't used them in a while. Rawly wont let me rez them at home and says the last thing people need to see, while coming to purchase a nice home, is a living room full of dead bodies. I am also not allowed to use weapons that make things go BOOM or effect the weather inside the house. No animals or sea creatures like my octopus, dogs, crocodiles or sion chickens are permitted.

We decided to sit and have a bit of a seriously spooky seance. My question was 'Will Blazin get totally wasted and will her tits eventually pop out the sides of her top?'
I am always first to offer my services and when a virgin was needed for sacrifice I was there like a shot. I have no idea why everyone screamed, I must have missed something scary or didn't see a ghost or something. Looking back they might have been screaming while laughing.

These two totally cracked me up. Ice and Aldero decided to get in the mood but both still had perfect prim collars and perfects AO's. Really scary boys!
Anyway y'all need to get over to House of Gestures and hunt for the pumpkins and get in the spirit of Halloween.

If there is any fun readers who want to help me out with tricks or you have any ideas for people you think need a good scare, drop me an IM, i'll be collecting screams for the rest of the month.


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Sunday, 4 October 2009
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT......



NICE, CALM AND QUIET

Since my last couple of columns, my SL has taken a totally different direction than I thought it was headed. I made the decision that all my closest friends do stuff, so I may as well do stuff. Believe me, there really is only so many things you can write about in SL. I could write about the nice things, ya know like puppies, rainbows and meet a linden conference. I’m sorry, wouldn’t be able to, I'd fall asleep. Want to read things like this? Well surprise! You are in the wrong blog.
After a column I did a few weeks ago about being in an exclusive place, ya know the one that made you all cry, something strange happened.

I got a call from someone who I have known for a while. I met him back in April while out on a club crawl. In many ways he was very like me and the immediate spark between us was scary. Back then though I was avoiding all sparks. Especially sparks that came from men who typed just like me. Both of us are the same in how we think and the other knew exactly what type of person the other one was. We stayed in touch and chatted every day. Subconsciously we kept the other just far enough away, as to not get too close. After 'that' column, we had a chat and the conversation was different than all the other times.

The conversation I had with this man was Slife changing. Well at the time it wasn’t, because I don't usually take good advice. The man in question said his piece and then explained he had to go to real life for a while and wouldn’t be on SL. I think he shocked himself with what he had said and I know he certainly shocked me. I tried not to dwell too much on what had been said, but I couldn’t help it. In the week he was gone my sl seemed to get very calm, quiet, structured and he was always on my mind.

I thought about him more and more while he was gone and I decided to read back through the whole chat log since our first encounter. I hadn’t noticed that all the times we spoke he was unravelling me without me even knowing he was doing it. I mean, it’s supposed to be me who does things like that! I have never met a man in sl, who could watch and peel the layers of someone, and explore them for that length of time, and do it with such patience.

Something happened to me in real life in early September and for a while I wasn’t able to get on sl. When I looked back on it, I realised he was there. He chatted to me in yahoo and made me laugh with random stuff. It was apparent, that while he had been sneakily stealing my heart, I had also touched him in a place that was a strict no go zone. And I don’t mean that place; I hadn’t even gotten near that place!

Now I feel extremely settled in my SLife because of my creating and my ability to open up in my writing. I now have the opportunity to be with someone who took such a long time trying to get me, in a way that no one else could,and part of me wishes I hadn’t written that article.

But If I hadn’t written the article, I may never have been able to open up and see that someone was standing right beside me the whole time, through every drama that I had been faced with throughout this year. Having someone in SL isn’t all about hanging out and SL sex. It’s about finding your match and companionship with someone who is totally like you. The sex part is just, well, I never was one to discuss my sl sex life.

The reason I am writing this article is because, I have gotten a lot of IM and virtual hugs from people who perhaps felt sorry for me. I guess this is me saying' Look, I am really ok'. Strangers praised me for allowing them to see that I was in fact a feeling human and that my heart wasn’t a swinging brick. People thanked me for helping them realise that they weren’t alone and for pushing the taboo subject, that everyone feels pain at some point in their SL.

This will probably be the last puke worthy article I write for a while. They aren’t doing my reputation for being a bitch any favours. I'm starting to find it hard to answer the private IMs about what has made me write them. It's easy to be publicly open with matters of the heart, when writing for lots of people, but when I get cornered by one person, I tend to clam up. I am glad though people seem to love and relate to them and this seems to be a whole new chapter in my sl, so I am sure it will be interesting.

For all of you who love my columns, but hate these type of columns, my next one will be for the start of the SLIWT Scare-a-thon. Stay tuned.

Lots of Love

Natalie xx

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Thursday, 1 October 2009
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT.......


ME, MYSELF AND I

What have you learned since the day you began to live a second life? Have you learned that even when life seems black, we’re mad to cut ourselves off from our sources of pleasure and the people who we are destined to play with? Have you been honest with yourself about your flaws, and tried to improve your failings? Have you been able to cope with the person that Second Life shows you that you really are? Or have you just taken the easy path and have you decided to live a second life lie?

If you can answer the above questions honestly, have a gold star. If not, read on, we can come back to it.

Being old in sl, I have been able to meet lots and lots of different types of people. We tend to forget that for some, SL is a haven for those who have lost their way in the real world. You can be anyone you want here, and that is great, but why do people pretend to be people they aren’t?
I used argue and say that sl brings out the true personality of a person, but I am not so sure now. I really struggle with the thoughts of how hard it must be to log into second life and pretend to be a completely different person than you are in the real world. I have thought about how hard it would be mentally, to log into and play a different character for long periods of time. I am not talking about the people who role-play in the gaming aspects of SL, I am talking about the people who secretly do it with everyday normal SL living.

It’s no secret that I spent a lot of time hanging with a certain philandering role-playing Gorean playboy. When you first meet someone like this, you always have to keep in the back of your mind, that you really don’t know what you are dealing with. For a man like this, I was fun and challenging, but once I saw who he really was, he couldn’t hide anymore. I had seen past the role-play and had become a bit too real to a man who was playing a game and he admitted I terrified him. I knew exactly what he was like and most didn’t get the chance to see the real person. I loved every moment on my time fighting, loving and annoying him, but I loved him as a role playing playboy. Him being a normal man, doing normal stuff just wasn’t my style. He reads this column every single day from his rl,so /me blows ya a kiss. BTW, you are still a bastard!

Every single person ever has flaws, no one is perfect. That would irritate some people, but it doesn’t irritate me. I love people with flaws; it makes them interesting, spontaneous and more importantly real. People who pretend to be perfect bore me to death, yet I see it more and more every day of my SL. People pretend to be perfect and all run around playing this little perfect Second Life. Gimmie a break!

During my SL, I have spent time with some truly amazing characters and most had faults and flaws. I have had the best times in my SL with the people who can hold up their hands and admit they are a mess. The ones who admit that they can’t recall the previous evenings sl adventures. The ones who laugh so hard they fall of their seats at random stupid stuff. I know and knew people like this, and what struck me as bizarre was that all have talent and are successful in rl and sl. They are just so confident with who they are, that they really don’t care about sl stuff, even though they are good at it. They aren’t here to prove something that they can’t in real life. It is the people who try too hard pretending to be perfect who never seem to be able to get it right. It amuses me that the people who get drunk, swear, the ones who are able to stop building for 5 mins and laugh are the ones who, basically just be themselves go places.

I have known lots of people who were funny and could stand up and say “I AM A MESS”, yet somewhere along the line they loose their way and they seem to think that the people they spent time with are holding them back. They leave those they played with, in search of a brand new type of friend. These types of people are drawn to each other, but sometimes some of them try to escape and change.
They don’t want to be real in sl. They remember they didn’t come to sl to be themselves. They wonder how they let people get close to them and see the real life person. That was not part of the plan.
Irony usually steps in now, because this type of person, who decides to break free from their own kind, end up with exactly the same type of people they have now become. Sadly most don’t see it.

For example, how many people do you know, who are on their second or third sl account? When I meet someone like this, I am always a bit wary of whom I am dealing with and they stay at arm’s length. Ask yourself what the people you have decided to roll with now, were doing 2 years ago in their Second Lives. Was that the real personality or is it the person you see now? I mean, as I said before, what type of person can lead a life for 2 years and then stand up and say that it wasn’t really them?
Has the person behaved or done things in a way they wouldn’t do now?
Have the people you roll with, morphed from one persona to the new one and how long will it be until they do it again?
What do they do while you sleep? Do they log out when you log out, only to wait till they know you are tucked up in your bed and come back to indulge in activities they know you would find shocking? Have they manipulated you into thinking they are just like you or have they decided to try and be that personality they know you want just to stay close?

The funny thing is, that these people who behave like this forget about the people they rolled with before they decided to reinvent themselves. I mean, some don’t get new accounts; they keep the old one and just hope no one will notice. Of course people notice, especially if you have spent up to two years with people every single day. Those people are also caught in the feeling of not knowing who they played with.
I have saw conversations of avatars talking to other avatars and I know for a fact that there are people in sl getting played more the piano at Elton John’s house. The people whos chats I have saw, from back when they played their real persona, compared to what they are now astonish me. I know and understand people can change, but some of the stuff I have witnessed is like Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Recently I even heard about someone who wouldn’t put up with people swearing and now they swear more than someone like me!
Ok, so after all that how many people can honestly say they aren’t living a lie? Would you pretend to be something you’re not? Would you hide your inner self? Why would you want to spend time in your sl with people who do it?

If the answer is yes, then you probably struggled answering the first questions. Go read them again and if all goes to plan and you have decided to at least be honest with yourself, then the answer should be NO.

On a personal note, I am a mess, albeit a fun one. I swear, I am shocking; on occasion I play SL drinking wine. I do this because its normal, I am an adult and I am allowed. I have no problem calling people fuckers, and I don’t give a fuck what you own or do here or in rl. I am a diva, I am a princess who likes everything her way and I love to laugh at people. But most importantly I can laugh at myself, I am loyal, honest and loving. I don’t pretend, this is who I am. I have had many people tell me I’d be perfect if I didn’t ‘do’ what I ‘do’ in sl, but then that would mean id have to pretend to be something I am not and then I’d probably end up being sectioned in rl cause that would make me mental.
Lots of Love
Natalie xx

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Sunday, 27 September 2009
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT.......


THE VIRTUAL WEEKEND


My virtual weekend crept up on me very quickly and my first stop was the new relaunch party at club E-CO. I had been in the old E-CO club a few times before and it was made very clear to me and my friends, that it was a bit too exclusive for us, so we left and didn't go back.

However, last night I was very surprised at how much it had changed. The atmosphere was a lot more friendly and welcoming. This was a far cry from my last encounter with a few bitches, who lacked manners and professionalism.

I decided to have a stroll around this much talked about venue, to see what all the fuss was about and I was really surprised. It is a fascinating place and you really have to go visit if you haven't already. It really is a great place to hang out in.

It was quiet, so I spent a lot of my time camming out the adjoining rooms that are all themed. This guy, Johnny Paverini caught my eye because he was standing looking ultra cool in the middle of the dance floor. However rather than be fascinated with his stunning good looks, I was more interested in his tag, it was brill. I really need to start getting out more. When you start to get excited over tags, its going down hill.




It wouldn't be a party without a noob showing up. Has anyone noticed how it always happens? Next time you have a party watch and see. I swear, there is always one who tries to be all covert on the side of the dance floor but lets face it, they aren't. I had a laugh because he was a customer of a romantic place called 'Franks'. Don't ask me why, but I think it might be owned by a guy called Frank and I have fond memories of the last time I was in Franks. I can remember being escorted to the door for getting involved in some type of bar room brawl. It was hilarious because 10 people got banned and we were the only people in the place! I guess Frank's new dress code must be no news, no shoes.

After leaving the sunshine of Costa Rica, I headed straight to Muism. At 8pmslt last night, as a thank you to all his loyal customers, Icemocolo Voom, reduced all the Muism stock by up to half price. He also surprised us with his brand new designs. We had a great time sitting people watching and it soon turned into a bit of a party. Old friends, who we hadn't seen for ages started to turn up.
Kmadd Stylist Aldero Akami decided he would liven up our evening soiree and he jumped on the table and just whipped it out.

Yes Aldero whipped it out and played with it right infront of us. Not only did he do this in sl but he was actually playing with it in rl aswell. His guitar you pervs.
We moved upstairs as not to scare the customers. Don't ask me what I have on my head, i was just glad it didn't take my hair off.
You will notice I wasn't without a date either. My good friend Duggy Bing, who owns Cartoonimals, sent me this fun friend a few weeks ago. Duggy sends me all his new stuff because he knows I really do fall of my seat in hysterics and this time was no different.

I have named this fun little friend Burt and he really does have a boner for me. He does what hes told, hes very quiet, I have his undivided attention, he doesn't perv other women and more importantly he dances whatever dance suits my mood.

I decided to show Burt off because it is getting very close to my fav time of the year. It is getting very close to Halloween and it will soon be time to start the Annual SLIWT Scare-a-thon. For all of you new readers who don't know what that is, stay tuned, you will have a scream.


Lots of Love

Natalie xx

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Saturday, 26 September 2009
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT.......


THE RETURN OF THE SL SEX EXPERT

I found out this week, that because I was born in 2006 this means I am old. New SL people seem to think that because of this I must be some sort of sl oracle.

Recently I was strolling around a few stores in SL and I was ambushed by new SL residents. They seemed to think that because it says I rezzed, 14/12/06 that it means ‘Hello, I’m your bitch, how can I help?’. Why should I help? There are people in sl to help and they are SL Mentors or better still Lindens.

It’s not that I am not a helpful person or that I am not nice, but being helpful to people who just aren’t going to stay, just isn’t worth my time. It’s far more fun to find your way in sl all by yourself. It’s those initial few weeks of noobness that will make or break a person. In those weeks you will learn who you will be in sl. However there is an easy way to get through these weeks, but of course there is also a hard way. The choice is up to you.

The hard way to become established and unnoobed is either camp, shake the f*** out of money trees or swing round a pole, with tassels on your titties, getting lindens shoved in your virtual freebie box panties. If this wouldn’t be shameful enough, you have to do this whilst you cringe at yourself writing the biggest pile of shit using the /me function. The easy way is to get payment on file, hand over your credit card and shop. Whether you do it the hard way or the easy way, LL will always get your credit card details in the end anyway, there really is no point in fighting the inevitable. My advice to all would be to quit helping new avatars, let them work it out for themselves. Most won’t stay anyway, woohoo less lag for me.

I seem to have got very picky about the people who I roll with. I prefer to talk with serious sl players like me. When I say that, I don’t mean the ones who assume sl is real and they haven’t left their rl house for the last 2 years. They aren’t serious, they are mental. I mean the ones who pay to play and who look after themselves.

However, being a journalist and with nothing happening in my sl, only noobs asking me if I knew the location of the sl equivalent of the holy grail, I decided that I would go on a date. I was offered the chance of the best night of my entire sl (what again?) by one of these new age sl womanisers. How could I refuse an offer like that? I would have to get all gorgeous, jump on slow dance 7 (still my fav btw) and of course bring out a side of me that has long been locked away.

I had been sitting talking with some friends, when I suddenly jumped up and announced that I was going on a date. It was really funny because everyone stopped talking and I could hear tapping of keys. I smiled thinking of them all wondering who had turned my head enough for me to make an effort and go on a date.

‘Who are you seeing?’ the IM’s said. ‘Mind your own god damn business’, I replied. What the boys didn’t know was that I had spent ages laughing my head off, listening to a guy I had met earlier that day. It wasn’t that he was a comedy genius; it was that he was pathetic. I decided I wanted to see if the new men of sl were just as pathetic as the old ones, back when I was on a mission to single handily date every man in sl.

The first thing that I found about me and how I had changed was, that this guy kept me waiting for a tp for a whole 10 minutes and I had started to feel my temper rise. Nowadays, I am impatient and Diva- like more than I was before. I had to remember I was doing this in the name of investigative journalism so; I took a deep breath and counted to ten.

I was teleported to one of those really tacky romance joints, that still have the marble textures. You will all remember these places; it looks like a big bird shit all over the place. When I went in I prayed to god that there would be no one who would know me or recognise me, but I stuck out like a sore thumb.
The place I had found myself in was having a ‘Best in Red’ contest, and I was in white! My date was also in white and he was so excited telling me that we matched. We sooooo didn’t match and I was there a full 5 minutes before a girl who was across from me, IM’d me and asked if I was the Natalie from slinworldtoday.com. I was tempted to say no or that someone had stolen my avatar or that I had been kidnapped. I just said yes because basically I was busted. If she’s reading this and I know she is, she will understand now.

I couldn’t remember the last time I danced with a man. Well I could, and I have really nice memories of that night and I decided that I wouldn’t dance again. So I reluctantly stepped onto the dance ball remembering my promise to myself of never dancing again on a particular dance animation. Jumping on the ball with this guy, I knew it was going to be a battle to keep his hands where I wanted them. He was changing the dances to suit his mood and telling me that I looked like an angle, and he really did say angle instead of angel. I was busy changing the dance animation’s to make it the one where he would be furthest away. This battle went on for quite some time until he finally relented and stopped trying to get too close to me.

My suspicions where confirmed, The SL Sex Expert’s weren’t extinct, I was dancing with one. Back in the day when I began writing about my sl, these men were everywhere. I spent many a happy evening winding them up like springs and watching them explode with temper. Its seems because I got old in SL, I just didn’t get to meet men like this anymore.

They are the men who think all women are mentally challenged and while thinking it they talk shit. Not just regular shit that most men talk, but I mean shit that makes you cry laughing. It’s very amusing to watch this type of man go from being dominant, male chauvinist, shit talker to a begging drooling mess with a raging hard-on. The fun twist though is when he doesn’t get his own way. He will totally freak out and go mad. He will say things like ‘How dare you waste my time?’ Well the hardcore ones say this, but the normal ones just remove you from their friend list after you ignore them for a week. Then because they couldn’t care less, (yeah right) they write about the whole embarrassing date on their profile. Yes, they really do!

They will write things like ‘I have no time for bitches who don’t know what they want from sl’. They really don’t realise that you got exactly what you wanted and that was a free night’s entertainment.

After slow dancing on the most unromantic slow dance in the place, he offered to take me to ‘lie’ with him a while and teleported me to one of those lovey dovey couples places. I immediately told him there was absolutely no way I could lie on the grass in my white dress, for fear of getting stains on it.(Grass stains you perverts) He was quick to tell me not to be silly, that grass wasn’t real in sl. I would love to be able to say that his childlike innocence and ignorance of my sarcastic sense of humour was ok, but it wasn’t.

He realised he wouldn’t be getting me on the grass, so he tp’d me straight to his house. I say house but I really mean badly textured prim box. The first thing I saw was the black and white bird shit textures and then all the pink and blue balls. Hundreds of them were dotted all over the room. I couldn’t even sit on the sofa because I was scared to click it.
He explained he got a feeling I must have been a shy girl and that he understood that some girls were shy. He told me that he would help me overcome my shyness, just like all the other girls he had been with. I couldn’t help ask how many he had been with and he just said ‘lots’. He then told me that he had been partnered 27 times. This man had been in sl since July 2008 btw.

While he prattled on about him and his libido and my lack of (/me rolls eyes, yeah right) I realised I might be sitting with a new different type of sl man. He could quite possible be called a Sl Serial Killer. I say this because as he was talking, I began to think that if this was real life you could imagine women being chained up in the basement. I could have stayed and tormented him a bit more, but when he told me that the other 27 women he had been partnered with ‘left’ sl (more like buried in the walls of his house under the black and white textures) I knew it was time for a pretend crash. I had begun to feel a bit sorry for him and it was busting my groove. He really wasnt understanding me at all.

I don’t feel sorry for him now though because he wrote about me on his profile, the bastard. It’s funny though, because I knew he would.

I thought people had changed in sl, but it was just that I had changed and had lost my way a bit. Those fun types of men I tortured on a nightly basis still exist. The ones who more importantly don’t read my site, so I get to make fun of them to my heart’s desire.
I still won’t be helping new people in sl find their way. If we all help people there would be no one to make fun off and the man I talked about, would have no one to virtual kill and bury in his basement.
Lots of Love
Natalie

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Monday, 21 September 2009
What Natalie did next.......


THE EXCLUSIVE PLACE

I couldn’t find a way to start writing this column. I stared at the blank page for a long time watching the little black line flash. Then I went and spoke to one of my close girlfriends, about a rather delicate matter that I myself have had great difficulty dealing with. I thought it was about time I shared my problem, with another likeminded female whom I love and trust. Don’t get me wrong boys, I love you all to bits, but you give shit advice and you didn’t give me long enough crying on your shoulder. Those 2 days just weren’t enough.

I don’t have many female friends in second life, I am always with guys or I am out on my own. The women I have chosen to call my close friends are a fun bunch of girls. For this column, I decided to study them in detail and all are successful in SL. They are all beautiful and unique but for some strange reason most are single. Why is this? Read on........

Recently a few that were partnered had split up from their partners. Before I would have rolled my eyes and not given the talk of tears and heart ache much thought. My advice would have been going out and getting another guy. I suppose when you roll with so many guys you start talking like one. This time when I was faced with the ‘it’s over’ IM from my heart broken friends, I found myself racked with guilt because I found I was telling them it would be ok. I found myself typing things like’ Give yourself some time, it will get easier’ and ‘you will forget all about him soon’.

It wasn’t until after I had typed it, I realised I was blatantly lying, because these girls are my friends for a reason. They are made just like me and they think just like me. While I sat and watched them tell me what had happened, I realised that I was stuck. I couldn’t tell them that it doesn’t get easier, it doesn’t go away and that they would be living in dark place for the rest of their second lives.
I had a chat with one of my single girl friends about how I was feeling. I was expecting her to be shocked when I spilled out a lot of things I was thinking about, but she wasn’t. She agreed with me, because she like me is in the same place and I didn’t know. We came to a conclusion that there are a few different types of women in SL.

There are the girls you see out and about who are forever single. The ones who profess that they can’t and won’t be caught by any man. They are the ones you see being escorted to the ban line on a regular basis. The ones who come in your IM and have no qualms are calling you a fucker. The ones who really don’t mind getting a 3 day suspension for it either. The ones the other girls don’t like. The ones that you wonder about why they are single. The ones guys date and they wonder why they aren’t so keen on them when they call the next day.

I realised I was one of these girls and all my friends were to. I am writing this because I know that out of all the readers who will read this column, there will be more girls who will be able to identify with what I am saying. The there are the girls who will be saying they can’t be caught, but you will one day. It’s not if, it’s when. You don’t get a notice telling you when it is going to happen.

The girls I talked with talked about not knowing what to do. They talked about a feeling of panic, because with SL relationships, when they end, you really have no control over anything. You can’t see the person; you don’t know what is on their face. You don’t know what happened, but you do know that your world fell apart. No matter how many times you type it though, you never seem to make the words look how you want them to look.

I could identify with everything they said. This time instead of rolling my eyes, I knew every single feeling they explained to me. I don’t know why, but I didn’t dare tell them it was hurting me more to hide this dark secret from them. They were in that first place you reach when your heart gets broken, and it is a terrible place.

It was that terrible place that I had heard about for a long time. What I couldn’t understand was if it was so terrible, why did women I saw complaining about it, end up with another man the next week, doing it all over again. I realised that when I found myself in this terrible place, that it’s a different place than most women find themselves in. Some of us who are different to most women, travel on some place far worse and we don’t get a return ticket.The feelings of love don't disappear because we are the women who despite being a bit bad are loyal and don't fall as easily as the rest.

The girls you see laughing and messing about. The tough girls who swear a lot and hang with the guys. The girls who don’t call you the next day, after that date you thought was amazing. The bad girls who are always single, but they aren’t that bad because they didn’t play you like a piano like they so easily could have, when you told them they had began to steal your heart.

These girls are all stuck in this secret place they got an impromptu e- ticket to and they can’t seem to get home. No matter what they do they can’t go back to who they were before and what struck me as crazy was that they all do it in secret. No one talks about it, they suffer alone.

Would it have been fair of me to tell these friends that came to me for a shoulder to cry on, that they should get packed for the next place they are going to be travelling to? The place that is far harder to deal with than the place they are in now.
I didn’t tell them, but I suspect they are there by now because all is quiet and taboo. I suppose the only comforting thing about it is that it’s a very exclusive place for a very special type of girl.


/me poke her tongue out, beat ya to it ya bitch lol


Lots of Love

Natalie xx

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Saturday, 12 September 2009
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT....



RANDOM RAMBLINGS

I won’t be sticking to one subject in this column. I will be swinging randomly to various topics that have arisen this week and have bothered me. The reason I am going to ramble on, is because a lot of you like what I say and you tend to agree with me on most of the stuff. If you don’t, then ask yourself now, what the hell are you reading for?

Sculpted feet- Now that most ladies own a pair of shoes that come with sculpted feet, I want to give you all a tip. It’s probably something you never thought of before, but in the throes of passion some of you forgetting something. I know a lot of girls who would rather cut their fingers of rather than admit they indulge in any of this type of thing, but I also know a lot who try very hard to convince others they are whiter than white. That bull shit doesn’t work here with me. OK picture this, you get all hot and bothered before jumping on the pose balls, clothes get removed in a few quick clicks. You think you are totally hot, but look down...you have no feet, so you don’t look hot. You will all probably be wondering how I know this or how I got to find it out. Well, the boys brought this to my attention and it conjured one of the funniest yet freakiest scenes in my mind. So don’t forget to remove the invisi prims girls!

Alt accounts-I refuse to listen to anyone who says that at no time in their sl was there a need for them to go secretly sneaking about, looking for information about someone or something. Some of you really need to get with the programme before snooping. Most people have visitor counters, they know who is coming and going to their stores or homes. Most people use an Alt to go snooping, however I don’t. I like my name to be on a visitor counter.

Some people in sl are brilliant actors, people don’t realise that. Many assume they know a person and perhaps this person is a bit of an asshole but has chosen to live a nice, quiet, respectable second life. They can’t stir up trouble with a regular sl account because it’s so respectable, so they get an alt and make their drama there. Nothing shocks me and anyone is capable of being a bastard, so you won’t be surprised if I say I had quite a few assholes and bastards ( alt accounts of course) on my visitor counter this week.

Ok super sleuths, listen up. If you are going to make an alt do it right. Tell no one because people love drama and love to talk. Also try and make your alt profile different from your normal sl profile. I saw a couple of alts a few weeks ago that weren’t hard to work out. I mean, sometimes it’s easy to see the person no matter what account they are in.The one I saw was an exact replica of his original avatar and was even wearing the same clothes. If you are reading this please stay the f*** away from the house, stop reading my site and hanging on my every word, it’s pathetic.

Business in sl-Ok, there are a lot of SL business groups. You know, groups for people who think they are going to be hugely successful in SL and they all join together and talk the biggest pile of crap. I am sure someone in one of these groups might actually be trying hard and might actually be serious, but when you’re locked in a room with 800 fruit loops what chance will you have? I have been served subpoenas on note cards in the past, I’m not joking. I have saw business people in SL draw up RL contracts on note cards. I sometimes think it’s kind of like when we were kids and we used to play 'pretend' post office and stuff. I have been tempted to actually ask some of these people if they are serious or just play pretending. I don’t because I am kind of scared of what what I’ll hear, because I know most of them will tell me they are serious.

I am in one or two of these groups. I stay in them because I like to research human behaviour.(Well I am lying a bit, I guess I am just really nosey). I think serious business people, would be better off doing their thing on their own and quit listening to mental people play 'pretend' being SL’s answer to JR Ewing. For example, earlier I saw a person who claims to be a brilliant sl business person, ask in group chat how to give someone a SLurl. I rest my case.

Designing-Saying something enough times doesn’t make it so. I love that phrase and it seems to be something I have lived my sl by. Another favourite is, just because you see it and it looks real, doesn’t make it real. I took a stroll around the quiet, begger-free, shopping Mecca that is SL Xstreet.(for all us old timers, SLexchange) It’s a fascinating place and I now see how a few very uncreative people that I knew in the past suddenly got so creative. I even got a couple of template packs myself and I see how easy it is to colour things in, upload and sell. This means the clothing is mine, I made it but it doesn’t and will never make me a SL fashion designer. I didn’t design anything. It’s kind of like painting by numbers. So anyone who has done this, don’t run about saying you designed anything or someone may end up buying all those templates you bought and making an identical shop.

Profiles-MY IM GETS CAPPED, PLEASE SEND A NC. How many times have you saw this on a sl profile and completely ignored it? If you haven’t, you should because everyone else is sending Notecards so your IM is bound to be seen. (See, people say I am a dumb blonde but I aint ) Well, its seems it is all the rage to put this on your sl profile and most do it because it makes people think they are cool as f*** and popular. I have noticed that at least 90% of the people who have this statement on their sl profile don’t do much in sl and they never seem to log out, so I have no idea how their IM gets capped in the first place. Anyway tip for anyone who has this problem- redirect IM to your email and read it on the wonder of modern technology, the phone.

I got to go log on and check my visitor counter and see who’s been visiting, see you all in world.

Lots of Love
Natalie xx

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Sunday, 6 September 2009
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT......



SL's Next Top Model (Yeah right lol)

I’m outspoken. I am the one who says exactly what lots of people think but don't say. I am also saw by many as the epitome of everything that reminds them their sl isn’t real.

A while back I had a bit of an argument with a few people about my views on the sl fashion/modelling world. Personally, I think there is a few people who take it all a bit too serious. There is definitely a few people who need click the red X and step back from the computer screen because they actually think sl is real.

The dispute I am talking about happened on a Jerry Springery type talk show, and a few people found out I am as outspoken in voice as I am with my typing.

Some of the members of the audience didn’t like when I said sl wasn’t real life and they weren’t real models. In fact they freaked the fuck out and told me that sl was real. They also told me that being a model in sl was incredibly hard, exhausting and it took a long time to be trained to be able to walk in one of the big sl fashion shows. Having never been a sl model I wasn’t able to say much on this, it’s just not something I saw as being particularly hard and I voiced my opinion just as they voiced theirs.

I decided to do a bit of investigating into the world of sl modelling. While most of it all seems to be legit albeit a bit silly, there did seem to be a lot of people, who for a price will ‘teach’ you how to be a sl model. I wandered around the fashion ‘schools’ and listened in on a few conversations. I done this an alt because I am very sure that while I don’t know a lot of these people I am sure they know me. I enquired with modelling agencies across the grid about how to get started as a sl model. I walked amongst the models and listened to lines like ‘Darling where did you get those shoes?’ I mean come on, you right click and inspect the god damn shoes.

As an unknown normal person, with nothing only the fine skin on my back and a set of expensive clothes (that everyone avatar on the grid will be wearing) I set off on my quest for fame and fortune as a sl model. I found that the bigger well known modelling agencies weren’t hiring models but the ones who were, wanted ME to PAY them money to teach me how to be a model! The smallest fee was 10k, but I would still have to buy all my own walks, poses, skin, hair etc. I had to play it very cool and very dumb, as I was afraid I’d blow my cover and they would realise I was Natalie. Isn’t it weird how when you’re all alted up you think everyone knows it is you? (I know you are all nodding)

I think there might have been blood trickling down my face from me biting my lip because basically I was being asked for money for being shown how to use the arrow keys on my keyboard and how to click my mouse. Then when I questionsed this I was also told that it was nothing really to do with your ‘skills’ at being a ‘model’, it was more who you know and what you know that could propel you to the top of the sl fashion world. So I wouldn’t be paying my 10k just to learn how to use the arrow keys to walk forward, id be paying to be in some sort of weird little clique. Needless to say I didn’t pay this airhead any money.

When I had been involved in this argument about sl modelling, I do remember saying that I really didn’t see what skill was involved. I do remember being reminded that there were lots of things to learn and that not just anyone could do it. I do remember saying that in most cases it was all about who you know and what you know and I was told that wasn’t true.

Well, I know a lot of models who are lots of fun and not all sl models are hung up on what they do and you know what, they are the best ones cause they have lots of character. They know who they are BTW. They are also a bit fed up with the way modelling is portrayed in sl because of a few people giving it a bad name and because certain people think it’s real life.

As I said before and as most know I am not a sl model. I have had no training and I have never been to modelling school but I am Natalie Niven. The timing was uncanny for this little experiment because it was BOSL Fashion Week, so I decided to just be blunt and wing it and I went straight to see Mr BOSL himself, Frolic Mills.
I asked Frolic straight out if I could be a model in the final show of BOSL Fashion Week and he said ‘sure hon, rehearsal is at 7pmslt on Sunday’. At first I thought maybe he had lost his mind for letting someone like me within 10 meters of his runway, but sure enough I soon saw my name on a list of models for Sundays Chanel show.

I turned up for the practice with nothing. I had no fancy poses or walks. I used my own skin and hair and I just listened to the instructions to what I had to do and when I had to do it. When it came time to do the real show I walked down the runway through the lag and clicked on what I was told to click on. I disappointed my friends who had thought maybe I would use my trip and fall on my face animation. I think secretly I disappointed Frolic because I didn’t do it.

My day as a sl model was an experience. I won’t say it was fun cause it wasn’t, I found it very boring, and I found myself wanting to go on voice and shout “ Look just listen to what you are being told and click the f***ing ball” but then I suppose people get their fun in different ways.I did talk to a few girls I knew there in IM, but no one else spoke to me or made me feel part of the show. I knew as soon as I rezzed I was not part of the team.

Well that concludes my research into being an sl model and what it took to be one for a day. I often wonder though would it have been an easy if I hadn’t been Natalie Niven. If I had been that unknown model who wandered the grid trying to be an sl model would I still have been able to make it to the big time fashion runway as quickly as I did?


I know the answer to this question, do you?

Lots of Love
Natalie xx

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